The Following Activities are not Endorsed by Lupus Canada

So we officially own a house. Or as someone put it, "you just own a mortgage, and they throw in a house for free."Here's a rundown of the first day of ownership.

Leave work at noon, pick up groceries, pick up the keys & go to doctor's appointment. Arrive home just after husband, load the car with cleaning supplies and head off to new house. Met sister-in-law and father-in-law at new house. Met neighbour number one. Ask if it is okay to park on street. Met neighbour number two. Ask her to move her van out of our driveway. Met lots of neighbour kids playing hockey in the street. Walked into house and started destruction. Told sister-in-law the water wasn't turned on so there would be no toilet privileges. Started describing reno projects to father-in-law. Mother-in-law arrives with enough food to feed an army, complete with a table, tablecloth, tea kettle, two homemade pies, cake, biscuits & salmon! Told mother-in-law that the water wasn't turned on so there would be no toilet privileges. Start setting up buffet for dinner. Send mother-in-law to neighbour number two to get two jugs of water to make juice. Mother-in-law approves of neighbours. Tile man arrives. Describe reno projects to tile man. Tile man instructs the husband on how to deconstruct the bathroom. Attempt to turn water on. Mother-in-law uses kitchen sink. It leaks. Mother-in-law uses main floor bathroom sink. It leaks. Mother-in-law uses main floor toilet. It leaks. Instruct mother-in-law to stay away from all water sources. Get out buckets and pots to catch leaking water. Eat supper, on floor. Vacuum carpet before tearing it up. Father-in-attempts to fix kitchen sink. Send father-in-law to Home Depot to get plumbing pieces and crow bar. Send sister-in-law to Loblaws to get more cleaning supplies. Boil water for cleaning. Start ripping up hallway linoleum. Decide to rip up plywood too. Discover we brought the toolbox with the least supplies. Turn extra lights off - don't these people understand we're paying for hydro now? Carpenter arrives. Describe reno projects to carpenter. Feed carpenter leftover pie. Sister-in-law comes back. Start cleaning walls and upstairs bathroom. No sign of father-in-law. Start taking off baseboards in hallway with pink exacto knife. (Can you guess whose toolbox we brought?) Flex sore fingers and rub red knees numerous times. Still no sign of father-in-law. Start taking baseboard off of living room. Discover that vacuuming was a wasted effort as there are now bits of baseboard and paint chips all over carpet. Make mental note to wear work clothes next time and bring knee pads. Mother-in-law starts cleaning smelly fridge. Father-in-law finally arrives. Got stuff in playoff traffic. Sink repairs start. Sink repairs stop. Wrong size of pieces. Carpenter leaves. In-laws get ready to leave. In-laws leave. Husband declares it's only 9 pm and we still have lots of time. Finish ripping up hallway. Finish taking off baseboard. Vacuum carpet again. Roll up carpet. Roll up underlay. Try and reset thermostat. Get frustrated with thermostat. Give up and go home.