The grass is always greener.....in the Home Depot Flyer

Since I've been banned from painting (me + white ceiling + red paint = bad news!) I've decided to focus my attention on the yard. How hard can it be to mess up our yard? There are no flowers, just many nameless bushes, and the grass is already patchy and uneven looking, so how much damage could I really do?
I mentioned to my father, an avid gardener, that our lawn was in a sorry state so when Mom came back up to Ottawa on Wednesday, he sent up a bag full of "lawn perscriptions." He had just finished re-seeding part of his lawn, so he was full of advice and even included complete written instructions as to how I was to use all the ingredients for his "seed recipe." Wednesday afternoon I set out to start the lawn beautification project. I had previously bought a bucket, hose and sprayer from Home Depot, borrowed a rake from the in-laws and found a small spade while cleaning out some boxes, so I figured I was set. Before mixing up the "recipe" I decided to hook up the hose on the back deck to make sure that our outside water had been turned on. Keeping to tradition, the back porch tap leaked, just like every one of the other taps in our house. Although this leak was much more impressive than any of the others. The water shot out of the side of tap, sprayed the siding at the back of the house and went through the open screen window into the kitchen sink. My next attempt was the water hook up in the garage. J was a little leary of this one too, mostly because his motorcycle was in the garage and he didn't think it was ready to be baptized just yet. He slowly turned the water on and we discovered yet another leak. This time, it was from the hose itself. It seems that the hose was missing the washer, so I had to resort to other watering methods.
After the water fiasco, I decided to set up my gardening shop on the front porch - peat moss, vermiculite, fertilizer and grass seed. I followed the instructions carefully, mixing the recipe up in a Home Depot pail and then spread the peat moss/vermiculite combo on the bare area. I then sprinkled the area with fertilizer and then grass seed. Because I didn't have a functional hose or watering can I was at a bit of a loss as to how to water the lawn. I didn't want to drown the poor grass seed by pouring too much water on it, so I looked around the house until I came up with a solution : a used Propel bottle. J has taken a sudden liking to Propel (vitamin enriched, flavoured water) so there are always lots of bottles around. A small problem arose - big, dry patch of grass and one small Propel bottle. I think the neighbours, who I'm sure were watching the hose fiasco and the mixing of the lawn recipe on the front porch, were very entertained as they watched me sprinkle our grass with the Propel bottle and then retreat to the house five times to fill up the bottle and then repeat the procedure until all the area was thoroughly sprinkled with water. Or perhaps they just thought that I had hit on a new grass growing technique - grape flavoured vitamin water to enhance grass growth! Either way, I hope the grass will always grow greener on our lawn!

Things You Wish You Could Say

Dear Neighbours,
We've recently moved into the neighbourhood and we're very excited to be moving into our first home. We've met some of you while we've been working outside and you all seem very nice. Even though some of you are a wee bit nosy and keep asking the carpenter and my mother-in-law just what it is we're doing inside, we don't mind telling you. (Oh and when my mother-in-law said you could come over any time and see what was up, she was just kidding. No really, we own the place.) We even told you what we paid for the place, since you asked so nicely and nodded politely when you told us that we have to replace our roof this summer. We didn't get upset that your van was parked in our driveway the day we moved in and we keep opening our back gate so your kids can get their tennis balls from our backyard. Oh, and we know your dog is a Golden Lab, not a Yellow Lab. Your son already explained it to us.

You all seemed very nice and polite when we first met, which is why we were confused today to find out that one of you called the city of Ottawa bylaw officers and complained that there were too many cars on the street. We asked one of you earlier this week if it was okay to park on the street and you assured us that it was. There are no signs on the streets and no one told us that there was a three hour parking limit. We were just lucky that my husband happened to see the officer before he put the ticket on our car this afternoon. We were even luckier that all the front hall tiles had dried before he ran over them and out the front door to stop the officer.

We understand that over the past few days there have been lots of cars and the street has been quite crowded. We've even had to park halfway down the street and carry our wood blocks back to the inlaw's ancient van, so that it doesn't roll down the hill and hit the stalled car with the flat tire, which has been sitting there all week. (Perhaps someone should call the city??) We've tried car pooling but when the carpenter comes from Perth, the inlaws from Franktown and Fergus and the other workers from Ottawa, it does make it a bit difficult. Next week the help will be diminished, so the cars should be few and your street should return to normal. But please, if there is an extra car on the street, go ahead and call the city. We like to meet new people.

Sincerely,
The New Neighbours

Lost in Renovation

A cool breeze is blowing. A soft white mist covers the landscape. Suddenly the silence is broken by the scream of a table saw. A door shuts, the drywall dust settles and you're now in our new home.

It's been a full week and although we're tired, sore and can hardly move, a lot has been accomplished.

The Painting Crew - washed all the walls once with TSP and twice with water, painted the main bedroom (3 coats, 2 different colours of paint), painted the bathroom (2 coats), painted the bedroom & bathroom ceilings (2 coats), painted the guest bedroom ceiling (1 coat), painted the hallway upstairs and halfway downstairs (1 coat) and painted the ceiling in the hallway while standing on a ladder perched precariously on the stairs! Still have to do second coats in some places and start on the painting downstairs.

The Flooring Crew - lay underlay and tile in front entrance, main floor bathroom and front hallway, complete with grout and edging in bathroom.

The Construction Crew - built wall between living & dining room, taped, mudded, sanded, mudded, sanded, mudded, sanded and made lots of mess.

The Outdoor Crew - raked front yard and back yard and met the neighbours.

The Plumbing Crew - fixed main floor sink, fixed laundry sink, fixed upstairs sink and fixed upstairs toilet.

The Cleaning Crew - washed the fridge and stove, kitchen & bathroom and ran a few loads in the washed and dryer to make sure they worked!

The Cooking Crew - fed 7 people Monday night, 4 people Tuesday night, 9 people Wednesday night, 7 people Thursday night, 4 people Friday night and 3 people Saturday night! Also served many lunches and endless pots of coffee!

I've also had a few personal accomplishments. I discovered that I cannot paint. Especially the trim work. I managed to get red paint on the nice white ceilings numerous times before giving up and letting mom take over. I also burned myself twice - once while trying to rescue a potato from bursting into flames on the stove elements and once on a bathroom light, while trying to paint. I also managed to catch a hand towel on fire while I was trying to take a casserole out of the oven. My feet also go numb after standing on them for more than a couple of hours (I'm blaming it on the Lupus, not my cushy government job) so I now wear my running shoes everywhere and prance around on my tippy toes so my heels don't hurt. Last but not least, I can find my way blindfolded to any of the local Home Depots, and that's what counts the most in a week's work.

The Following Activities are not Endorsed by Lupus Canada

So we officially own a house. Or as someone put it, "you just own a mortgage, and they throw in a house for free."Here's a rundown of the first day of ownership.

Leave work at noon, pick up groceries, pick up the keys & go to doctor's appointment. Arrive home just after husband, load the car with cleaning supplies and head off to new house. Met sister-in-law and father-in-law at new house. Met neighbour number one. Ask if it is okay to park on street. Met neighbour number two. Ask her to move her van out of our driveway. Met lots of neighbour kids playing hockey in the street. Walked into house and started destruction. Told sister-in-law the water wasn't turned on so there would be no toilet privileges. Started describing reno projects to father-in-law. Mother-in-law arrives with enough food to feed an army, complete with a table, tablecloth, tea kettle, two homemade pies, cake, biscuits & salmon! Told mother-in-law that the water wasn't turned on so there would be no toilet privileges. Start setting up buffet for dinner. Send mother-in-law to neighbour number two to get two jugs of water to make juice. Mother-in-law approves of neighbours. Tile man arrives. Describe reno projects to tile man. Tile man instructs the husband on how to deconstruct the bathroom. Attempt to turn water on. Mother-in-law uses kitchen sink. It leaks. Mother-in-law uses main floor bathroom sink. It leaks. Mother-in-law uses main floor toilet. It leaks. Instruct mother-in-law to stay away from all water sources. Get out buckets and pots to catch leaking water. Eat supper, on floor. Vacuum carpet before tearing it up. Father-in-attempts to fix kitchen sink. Send father-in-law to Home Depot to get plumbing pieces and crow bar. Send sister-in-law to Loblaws to get more cleaning supplies. Boil water for cleaning. Start ripping up hallway linoleum. Decide to rip up plywood too. Discover we brought the toolbox with the least supplies. Turn extra lights off - don't these people understand we're paying for hydro now? Carpenter arrives. Describe reno projects to carpenter. Feed carpenter leftover pie. Sister-in-law comes back. Start cleaning walls and upstairs bathroom. No sign of father-in-law. Start taking off baseboards in hallway with pink exacto knife. (Can you guess whose toolbox we brought?) Flex sore fingers and rub red knees numerous times. Still no sign of father-in-law. Start taking baseboard off of living room. Discover that vacuuming was a wasted effort as there are now bits of baseboard and paint chips all over carpet. Make mental note to wear work clothes next time and bring knee pads. Mother-in-law starts cleaning smelly fridge. Father-in-law finally arrives. Got stuff in playoff traffic. Sink repairs start. Sink repairs stop. Wrong size of pieces. Carpenter leaves. In-laws get ready to leave. In-laws leave. Husband declares it's only 9 pm and we still have lots of time. Finish ripping up hallway. Finish taking off baseboard. Vacuum carpet again. Roll up carpet. Roll up underlay. Try and reset thermostat. Get frustrated with thermostat. Give up and go home.