The grass is always greener.....in the Home Depot Flyer

Since I've been banned from painting (me + white ceiling + red paint = bad news!) I've decided to focus my attention on the yard. How hard can it be to mess up our yard? There are no flowers, just many nameless bushes, and the grass is already patchy and uneven looking, so how much damage could I really do?
I mentioned to my father, an avid gardener, that our lawn was in a sorry state so when Mom came back up to Ottawa on Wednesday, he sent up a bag full of "lawn perscriptions." He had just finished re-seeding part of his lawn, so he was full of advice and even included complete written instructions as to how I was to use all the ingredients for his "seed recipe." Wednesday afternoon I set out to start the lawn beautification project. I had previously bought a bucket, hose and sprayer from Home Depot, borrowed a rake from the in-laws and found a small spade while cleaning out some boxes, so I figured I was set. Before mixing up the "recipe" I decided to hook up the hose on the back deck to make sure that our outside water had been turned on. Keeping to tradition, the back porch tap leaked, just like every one of the other taps in our house. Although this leak was much more impressive than any of the others. The water shot out of the side of tap, sprayed the siding at the back of the house and went through the open screen window into the kitchen sink. My next attempt was the water hook up in the garage. J was a little leary of this one too, mostly because his motorcycle was in the garage and he didn't think it was ready to be baptized just yet. He slowly turned the water on and we discovered yet another leak. This time, it was from the hose itself. It seems that the hose was missing the washer, so I had to resort to other watering methods.
After the water fiasco, I decided to set up my gardening shop on the front porch - peat moss, vermiculite, fertilizer and grass seed. I followed the instructions carefully, mixing the recipe up in a Home Depot pail and then spread the peat moss/vermiculite combo on the bare area. I then sprinkled the area with fertilizer and then grass seed. Because I didn't have a functional hose or watering can I was at a bit of a loss as to how to water the lawn. I didn't want to drown the poor grass seed by pouring too much water on it, so I looked around the house until I came up with a solution : a used Propel bottle. J has taken a sudden liking to Propel (vitamin enriched, flavoured water) so there are always lots of bottles around. A small problem arose - big, dry patch of grass and one small Propel bottle. I think the neighbours, who I'm sure were watching the hose fiasco and the mixing of the lawn recipe on the front porch, were very entertained as they watched me sprinkle our grass with the Propel bottle and then retreat to the house five times to fill up the bottle and then repeat the procedure until all the area was thoroughly sprinkled with water. Or perhaps they just thought that I had hit on a new grass growing technique - grape flavoured vitamin water to enhance grass growth! Either way, I hope the grass will always grow greener on our lawn!